80 mph winds Vs. Shingles

Just picture me sitting Indian style on my living room floor, a blanket draped around my neck like a cape with a baseball bat in my hand, rocking back and forth anxiously. Boston has been railed with a blizzard and we are getting the ass end of the deal with hurricane force winds on the cape. Every time a huge gust of wind starts to whip up, it sounds like a Mack truck and I feel like it's going t drive itself right through a window or worse, rip off the roof. You can hear every single shingle,shutter,and window pane every time Old Man Winter decides to blow his horn.

Cut to: Me in my living room, looking like some ridiculous superhero. Some superhero I would be. How many hero's do you know that can battle wind? Wind with a baseball bat at that. I don't even know why I got the baseball bat anyways. I'm not fighting off burglars or wolves. Strange defense mechanism maybe? Who knows. I had left earlier in the day to run some errands and got a small taste of what exactly is going on out there today and all those reasons should have kept me in the house at that. There were so many trees down everywhere. Most main streets where clear, but a lot of debris from the tree's. The cape is a heavily wooded area, so there where many old trees through out the woods that have just come down, snapped right in the middle. Yikes! I bought a new car right before we moved out here and like I have stated before, luck is NOT on my side. I am hoping that one of those tree's don't snap and end up on top of my car.

To give you another example of the high winds, and my irresponsibility, when I came back home realized walking into the house that A) It was freezing cold and B) There were no cats in sight. First thought: This isn't right. Upon walking into the bedroom area, I see that the side door was wide open! I most not have locked it the other night (we set off the smoke detector when we were making dinner and needed a quick vent. This is what happens when you live in a small space and the kitchen does not come with a hood/fan. This is probably illegal) and the wind blew it right open. The poor cats were probably freezing. We were gone for at least an hour and found them all in little cubbies around the house. Oppsie.

So far, no broken glass and no tree's landing in or on the house. Shingles are still in tact,I think. These winds are insane. This is worse then Earl back in September, which was a bit of a disappointment. Back to my lame superhero outfit and bat back on the floor. At least I'm prepared, but prepared for what exactly?

See, this is what I don't want on the roof, or my car

Kitchen Yoga is born

December 26, 2010


It's the day after Christmas, and a merry belated Christmas to anyone reading this. I'm sitting on my couch, with the t.v on, in my pajamas, hair wet and a can of lemonade at my side. This, has become my life, my job. Day after day, I pretty much do the exact same thing. When we first moved here, I knew I was taking on a job at a seasonal hotel. I didn't really imagine that I would have to do the whole unemployment thing. I thought maybe there would be a very slight chance, but put more faith in the fact I would find something. Turns out, practically everyone of the cape works seasonal jobs and almost everyone is on unemployment now. I probably should have started to freak out during the summer months when hotel guests would spark up conversation with me and when I told him that I moved here recently, almost 9 times out of 10, they would reply, "just wait till the winter" and give me that 'Yikes' look.

I'm trying to make the best of the situation as best as I can. You can only do so much on unemployment. I still don't have any friends here, which is ridiculously sad, considering we have been here about seven months now. I also didn't realize that most of the cape is all older folk. I guess if I wanted to join some sort of a group to meet people, I can hit up the nearest senior center for bridge night, but I don't think I'm quit there yet. I'd rather hang out with my cats all day. Hmm, maybe I am.

So what's to do when you can't find a job and are sitting in the midst of a snow storm? Kitchen Yoga! That's right. Not quit sure what I'm talking about? Well, me either, but I'm starting my own revolution. I may have failed to mention in any of the other blogs that the place we moved into is super small. It's not even an apartment, I'd finally realized its more of a studio. We couldn't even fit our sectional couch into the "living room" upon our move in, so we had to make the bedroom area our living room and the living room the bedroom. You with me? Most of our stuff is in storage and we still can walk past each other in the hallways without falling into a wall. We had to do some major re-arranging when we got our Christmas tree too! The congestion and frustration of the size of our place has depressed me for awhile now and I was talking with one of my best friends the other day and she had suggested that I read the Secret and do yoga. Well, after I told her to fuck off for the millionth time, I had given some slight thought to the yoga thing. She has been talking about that damn Secret book since Oprah debuted it on her book club. I am not willing to subject myself to that book, but the yoga thing, ...that might take my mind off of stuff. Then, I realized that my place is so small you can't even lie down on the ground to do yoga. I went back to being depressed and cried a little.

Upon trying to make Christmas cookies the other night, I realized after I burnt them, that the only place large enough to lie down or stretch out is the kitchen. Go figure. I have been wanting to work out, but on an unemployment budget, that's not really in the cards. So, I realized that if I set my laptop up on the kitchen counter and grab a blanket for my floor mat and search Youtube for Yoga exercises, then I can have a full fledged spiritual awakening in my very own kitchen! How many people can say they got their bikini ready body by doing downward dog while watching your Christmas cookies burn? I'm willing to bet not many.

This is the living room, that we had to turn into the bedroom because the couch couldn't fit

The kitchen during move in...largest room in the place

Snowballs Vs. Satellite

December 20, 2010

Today was the first snowfall on the cape. How about that?! The news has only been talking about this whirlwind for the past week and a half, and it's finally here. I actually should be out shoveling snow but, instead I would like to give Direct TV a big F-you shout out for a second. I realize that you give 800 amazing channels, High Def, On Demand, the whole nine. Your great. You can take back the other 780 channels I don't watch, but that's not what I'm here to complain about. I think you should include a ladder in your dish package along with a ice scrapper/brush/snow blower type of thingy. You can call it the New England Winter package. This makes sense, since we never got a warning about what could happen when you have two feet of snow sitting on your dish. This way, I can shimmy up the side of the 2 story house, on that fabulous ladder you have included, and then I can use the scrapper/brush/blower thingy to get all the snow off my dish and maybe watch some TV again. Do you not realize I'm missing the 16 and Pregnant marathon right now?

Instead, I sat in a foot of snow on the side of my house, throwing snowballs at the dish, hoping to knock down some of the snow that has accumulated there since 8pm yesterday. Guess what? Didn't work. What would have worked is, if I was trying to put snow on the dish, then my plan would have been a successful one, because I put A LOT of snow on top of the snow that was already there. But I was trying to do the opposite of that. So, thanks to you, I have no TV and a sore arm. Oh, and my UGGS would like to throw up the middle finger too. Apparently they are not water resistant.

My next plan is to back my SUV up to the side of the house, climb onto the roof and brush the dish off myself...I'll have the doctor forward the bill to Direct TV.



The Cape's first snowfall 2010

2 Dollar Bill Ya'll

July 29, 2010

I actually had a $2.00 bill in my wallet, and I spent it folks. Why? Because I was going to run out of gas. This kind of sums up what life has been like here on the good old Cape. About two and a half years ago, my boyfriend gave me a $2.00 bill. He told me they were supposed to bring good luck. I don't know about luck, but it did give me .97 gallons of gas today. So maybe it was lucky.

Lately, things have been less then stellar here in Massachusetts. It truly has been one disappointment to the next. On the upside, my job has been going fairly well. Maybe a career in hospitality is my calling. Maybe I'm trying to convince myself of that so I don't sound like a 28 year old loser who skipped out on college with the hopes she would get lucky. Anyone that knows me, knows that luck, is surely not my best friend. Luck would like to bend me over and have it's way with me every night of the week if it could.

Back to today's sob story. It actually started a couple days ago. I have been having 'financial' issues and Chris' lent me a couple hundred dollars so I didn't end up going negative in my account. Awesome boyfriend shoutout. Anyways, so I really didn't have much after the fact and I if I have done this once, I have done it a bazillion times. I knew my gas tank would be thirsty soon enough and payday was only two days away...and I was hungry for a Spicy Chicken Fillet at my ole pal Wendy's joint and the hunger just wouldn't go away. I saw the $5.00 bill poking out of my purse and I knew I had to have that chicken! I pulled into the Wendy's drive through lane and looked over the menu. Then I looked at the gas needle, looking like it was far enough away from empty, I could get away with another 56 more miles before having to worry. WRONG-0. As usually, I got myself in a pickle. I knew, in the back of my head, when I was eating that delectable culinary creation, that this may happen. But, I took a risk, and once again, lost.

Today after work, I got into my car and saw that the needle was pointing to the E. It should stand for 'excellent amount of gas left to drive on' in my book. I knew that my car would not make it back 27 miles to my house. I would be on the phone with AAA, and that was not going to happen. I could just see myself standing on the side of Route 6, in the dark, with all the crazy MASSHOLES on the road and all the wildlife creatures looming in the dark shadows of the trees behind me. Nope. Not ever gonna happen. So, I pulled into Cumberland Farms and grabbed my wallet. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed real quick that on the 1oth time of opening my wallet that day, a bill bigger then a one would magically appear. No dice. Damn. I did, however have a two dollar bill that Chris gave me when we first started dating. It was considered lucky he said. I also had two quarters jiggling in my pocket. I just sat there with this sad bit of money in my hand and didn't know if I should laugh or cry. This is so my luck, my life, at it's best. If it's going to be anyone it's going to be me.

I got out of the car and sheepishly walked into the gas station. I couldn't even make eye contact with the lady cashier, because I was too afraid of what her reaction may be when I present her with my currency from Tiny Tim. I mumbled, "two-fifty on eight please." And just so that didn't seem real weird, I followed it up with, "I'm sorry it's weird." And then to make sure THAT didn't sound even weirder, I added, " I just need to make it home." It got weird. Well, for me anyways. The lady just smiled and said, "sure, we take everything, even two-fifty" and gave me a smile and for a split second I though I saw her feel bad for me. Like, "oh this girl is poor" bad. Or maybe not. I jerkishly walked out of the store, feeling sorry for myself, pumped my gas and hoped that I would make it home. And I was only poor for another 4 hours after that, because as of midnight, my direct deposit for work went through. Gotta love that.

We've got Mail

June 5, 2010

Who would have thought getting bills would be so exciting! I found 2 pieces of mail in the mailbox today ( which I had to ask the landlord to put up because he took it down years ago. After not getting or seeing any mail for almost a month, it feels good to finally get the post card I sent to myself from work yesterday. I wanted to see if the zip code the post office gave us, would in fact, route the mail to us. Its a VERY long and grueling story. It gives me a headache thinking about it. Anyways, so yay for mail.